Mindtangles:Struggling with Chaos

photo by Becky Krebs, Glen Helen

I went for a long hike today in the Glen…after the chaos of the snowstorm. I could not wait to be liberated from the containment of the roof over my head and to be in the austere spaciousness of winter in the woods. 

I also went to the woods to ”walk”  on some of my mindtangles. Sitting meditation is fantastic, but at times a walking meditation allows me to see my struggles in the metaphor of nature. There is something very comforting about that for me. 

The snow was a heavy burden for the trees to bear, but they did it with swaying grace as the wind dance-flowed through them. I wondered if I could hold up under the weight so well. Everywhere I looked the limbs were thatched together in crystalline snowtangles of chaos.  Branches created bowers hanging low over the trail, encrusted with 2 inch thick puffed ice-snow. I brushed past them with wishes for the lifting for their burden soon. One could feel cold, deep gravity pouring them into the earth. 

I noticed something else about the trees…they were not struggling against the icy-snow weight. In fact, they were bowing to it. Moving with it. They were relaxing into it, and moving toward the support of the earth. Wow, I thought to myself, the trees are doing yoga. Working with chaos instead of struggling against it. 

We can do the same..we can learn to relate openly with chaos, with difficult situations and heavy emotions, as a means to awaken and experience deeper understanding, and even unconditional joy. Welcome the struggle with chaos as a sacred experience. 

Three ways of relating to chaos are traditionally taught in mindfulness teachings; 

First, like the trees, we remember to stop struggling against it. We stop fighting with ourselves, others, the situation, emotions, moods. As Pema Chodron advises, “whatever arises, we can look at it with a non-judgmental attitude.” 

Second, we breathe and lean into the experience, and see the chaos as an opportunity to learn something, to awaken to another perspective or “think bigger”. This process is also taught as “using poison as medicine”. In order to do this, we can not resent the chaos, we actually embrace it. Or at least get out of it’s way as it moves through you and out of your life. But we don’t avoid, we attenuate the chaos. It takes courage, and patience to do this. It is a practice, so it takes practice : ). 

Third, we consider or allow whatever arises, the chaos itself, to be ”awakened energy”. This way of relating to chaos reverses our usual habit of avoiding it at all costs, which usually makes the situation worse anyway! When we see it as an opportunity to awaken, chaos becomes an energy we can use with grace and wisdom. We can bow to it as a visitation from a guru with something beautiful and important for us to know. 

We can bow to chaos with gratitude. Working with chaos instead of struggling against it; this is the wisdom life-yoga has to teach all of us. 

Walk on the thought-water. Surf the mindtangles with ease. Be present now. Namaste’ my friends!

Walking on Thought Water, photo b krebs

Teachings from When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron.